the strength of the mind

Like I was saying at the beginning of another post, the human body is a very agile and complex machine, and you give it less credit than you should. I really think that, before continuing, you should push that link and re-read the beginning of that post, and more importantly, watch that video.

Then come back here, and watch this:

Now tell me: How is my story about people climbing buildings and running around on rooftops or jumping around so far-fetched again? That’s a person with barely any training, a few months of it, if even, a human, that can be he both hurt easily and is constantly held back by his fear of falling or hurting. Just stop here for a few seconds and think about this: How would this movie look like with 20 years of training, no fear of falling, and tenfold more strength?  Answer that for yourself, and in that moment you’ll realize how it isn’t so science fiction what you hear (or see) about vampires climbing buildings and windows as easy as cake.

Do you feel safe where you are now? In the comfort of your own home, with the window “safely above street level” ? Watch the video, think again. Understand why it is imperative for them to keep a ‘stay away’ principle in which they can’t go into anyone’s home.

What that video shows is terribly easy, and with the least amount of training and effort you can easily pull it off. You would be amazed what you can do with several years of training, and you would be amazed what you could do with hundreds of years of training, a lot more strength, and I must emphasize this again because it truly is the most important: no fear of death. If we would have that extra mile, as humans, not to be afraid of death or of hurting ourselves… we could accomplish so much more, in every aspect of life.

But this was intended to be a short post and I’ll keep it that way, all I wanted was for you to see that video.

The next part of the story is coming out tomorrow.

subtle proof

Alright, if you’ve been following the blog for long enough and have been the least interested in picking up the small trail of subtle things I’ve left behind, you’re pretty much going to love this.

What subtle things? Well, for example the post in which I  mention I clearly knew for some years about Regina telling me how there’s so many different tastes to a humans blood and how she knows there are tens of blood-types out there that we don’t know about.

At the time I was called quite a few names over e-mail, people went on about “keep your fantasy to you but how you dare in trying to disprove thousands of real scientists” – on a later date, to my tremendous satisfaction, just out of thin air, some scientists discovered new blood types, predicting there’s many more of them, well… what do you know. Some might call me Nostradamus. I expect an apology. No, I don’t, but please find it in your heart to at least try to think at the possibility of me not being a total bullshit after making such a bold prediction.

Alright then, some might say: Lucky coincidence. Really? Do you really think someone would be THAT lucky to say there’s tens of blood types out there and then just like that scientists discover he’s actually right?

It’s all there in the blog.

“I had inside info.” – Alright, how’s this for inside info:

Like my father used to say: “Anything that is false today could be true tomorrow. Time means everything, and it goes both ways (the meaning).”

So, a while back I was writing an “alternative history” post in which I included, among other things, the last time I’ve seen Regina. I mentioned how I thought she was involved somehow in the plane crash that killed the Polish president back in 2010, and I had that itching feeling something wasn’t right about the whole thing. I didn’t expand on it. I tried investigating the thing many, many times. Believe me, for months I’ve went around poking the bear in different areas and the whole thing was such a hush-hush that just reeked of tampering from a mile away. I didn’t say anything on the blog, the last thing I want is to be catalogued as conspiracy theory lunatic.

However, once again, my “Nostradamus” character comes into play. My father was right, time does turn false into truth.

Yesterday, the 30th of October 2012, more than two years after it happened, this thing pops out of nowhere: Explosive traces in the plane that killed the Polish government.

This isn’t and will not be, a part of this story. Because it happened afterwards, because conspiracy theories do not interest you. This is here for my sole amusement.

Also, three days before the report on the investigation that found the explosives was published, a key witness (flight engineer) in the whole investigation apparently ‘killed himself’.

I’m not implying anything. I’m just putting here what’s out there in the news, showing you how I FUCKING SAID IT ALL ALONG that something wasn’t right about the whole thing.

For a long time, I suspected the Americans because they have been known to attempt such feats at least a dozen times before (see Ecuador case for example) and mainly because of what I found out over the years between US – Poland – Russia relations, and how they changed right after the crash.

But this post is getting into politics. It was meant to provide an update to something that I stated earlier to which I had nothing to back it up with. Just like I did with the blood types post, backed it up at a later time, I do so with this post now.

Any critique greatly appreciated.

special vampires require special tools

This post is not part of the story, it’s just thoughts and clarifications that I need to let out every few posts or so, questions and realizations gather, the more I write, the more questions I get, and I need every few posts, to put out something like this. You might skip it if you really are only interested in the story, but I’d advise against it.

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It’s weird you know, how some people believe that today you’re a human and *poof* just like that, tomorrow you can be a vampire.

But it’s not like that.

Well, it is – but not really. Special vampires really do require special tools. Not actual physical tools, but techniques and methods to bring them to the special status.

Let me define special.

A special vampire is something coined by myself, it doesn’t really exist. It’s a metaphorical term that I use to describe those vampires that are both as human as you and I can be, and as monster as the most gruesome vampire movie can depict.

It’s a state of mind, a way of thinking, a personality and values plus morals. It’s that state of mind where you decide rationally that someone needs to die, and you do it in a humane way.

It’s a way of being, understanding who and what a person is, trying to reason with that person, before attacking or killing.

It’s a way in which you can connect to both vampires and humans at the same level, without a feeling of inferiority or superiority, without giving birth to animosity.

It is what Regina is, but what Viktoria isn’t.

It is everything that you’ve read in this story, and the small and subtle differences and ways of doing things that differentiate them.

It is also why Viktoria could never take Regina’s place.

Because Regina can be human, can cry, can understand you, can reason with you and can enjoy a rainy day under a warm blanket in front of a fire. Viktoria can also do that, but not out of wish or nature, but out of interest and alternate reasons.

It’s like going to a job you hate. You go there because you need to pay your bills, not because that’s who you are and that’s what you do and that’s how you feel and that’s what makes you happy.

Regina on the other hand, is naturally all that – she is by my definition – a special vampire. And no, she’s not alone, there are others like that – quite a few actually.

But you see, a special vampire cannot be bred in the same fashion any vampire is, and can never learn how to be human in the same time as being a vampire. A special vampire has to be that from day one, or he’ll never be one ever. And if you cannot be that, you cannot lead and you cannot achieve that extra 1% that makes you great.

Vampires lack a lot of things that humans still have. It’s all psychological. They lack the will and the ambition we have. They just lose it in the process of being… forever. They stop striving for greatness, they stop having the ambition to achieve something great because they always feel like they have the time and power to do so anytime they want, but they just don’t want it right now. It’s like trying to quit smoking I guess, everyone says that they can quit it anytime they want, but they don’t actually really try to do so.

Vampires that lose that touch with the human side miss-out on a few things that they might use – some of them disagree and argue that still retaining humanity is a weakness – which by all means, it is in some cases, but weakness is sometimes better than impulsive reaction and bravery. It is. You never know where a decision (or lack of) can lead you to.

A special vampire can be modest, humble, happy (genuinely) and sad, and can, day by day, experience the same joy of life that we all do. In a sense, you might argue that a special vampire still feels his life is short – still feels human inside. And it is exactly that, what keeps her going. Living. Actually living, not just stumbling across eons like a mindless zombie, void of feelings, interests, occupation or amazement.

Don’t think that a vampire and a special vampire are the bad and the good, no, that’s not actually correct. You see, I’ve come to learn that humans are much more cruel and much more evil than any creature on this earth, vampire, snake, lion or anything else. The sheer amount of information you can find online these days about methods of executions (complete with videos) is just mind-blowing.

HIGHLY GRAPHICAL CONTENT – PEOPLE BEING BURNED TO DEATH.

And that’s a reason why a special vampire can be that much worse than any other vampire. Cruelty. It is because of all those feelings that she still keeps, because of all that grief – because where there is joy there is also grief. It’s exactly because of all that, she can be that much more cruel and gruesome at times. And great leaders, at least in their world, need that. Fear, revenge and cruelty is part of the daily life. And to inspire fear into any vampire, you need that extra bit, you need that stepping over the line of rationality, and step into the realm of “she’s going to murder us all”. It’s that spontaneity that a humans has, that degree of unpredictability of a human is what makes a special vampire… well, special.

Because make no mistake, for all the impulsiveness and aggressiveness that someone like Viktoria might have, Regina makes up in cruelty. Think of it as blowing off steam. Whereas Viktoria does it step by step, all the time, because that’s what she is, Regina doesn’t. She instead refrains herself from any kind of cruelty of impulsiveness, she is just like you and me, but there are those hallucinating moments where you can’t tell what’s real and what isn’t, those moments when the world turns upside down for her and all hell breaks loose.

Like I was saying many, many posts ago, she always had that double personality, at first I called it demon by night and angel by day, but step by step, I realized that she doesn’t have just two faces, but a different one for each and every person, and that’s how she also manages to keep herself going, to keep her humanity. She is a human when she is among humans, and a vampire when she is among vampires. She is the devil when the devil’s presence is required, and she is a protector and an overzealous defender of morality and good values when the situation requires it.

By our definition, she is a fake – but by any other definition, she is the most adapted living being I’ve ever came across.

And that’s the best way I can describe a special vampire.
But as I was saying, by all means, she’s not alone. There are others, just like her, not that old, not that powerful, but with the potential to be just as adaptable, because they were thought to be like that from the very beginning.

They know this. All of the elders, the very first ones, and maybe some others, they all know this very well. If you want someone by your side, then you’ll work on it for years. You don’t just pick someone, turn him and hope for the best. It doesn’t work that way and you can’t afford to make a mistake, because finding that special someone is a feat, a chance in a lifetime, even the lifetime of a vampire, and you cannot let yourself to fail in creating something… special. Something that will be everything that he can become.

And that’s what a lot of them are doing.

But how? How do you create that special vampire?

You let him see who you are, you keep him close, for years if need be – you watch over him closely, day by day, you make him a part of your life, while still a human. You let him live among vampires, as a vampire, when he is still human. You make him realize how human he is, and what being a living human being actually means. You make him feel every single type of emotion a human being can feel, from the most strong types of joy and happiness, to the depths of hell surrounded by sorrow and grief. You put him down and you take him up, you spin him around and drown him in humanity and then slowly, day by day, you drag him to yourself, make him crave immortality, make him crave you, make him want to be not only a vampire, but a part of you.

It’s the most delicate and complicate process one can do with another human being. You are basically modelling and sculpting his mind, his emotions, his feelings, taste and everything. And in order to do that, you need to start early, but not too early.

You can’t start from a very fragile age, be it two years old or so, because if you do that, then that human would have never known what humanity actually is. Even if he’s still human as he grows up, if he does so among vampires, or just the mere knowledge of their existence, will ruin everything. HE HAS to be a human before he is a vampire, and he has to know HOW to be a human, and more importantly what it actually means to be a human, because a lot of us forget what we are every day. We do. When was the last time when you, the reader, asked yourself: Who am I? What am I doing here? Why? How do I feel? Why do I feel like this? WHAT am I. Now who, not this time, but WHAT? Try and answer that. It’s harder than you think. It’s easy giving out short, meaningful answers, but when you really want to get into it – you get to a standstill.

In the same lines, you can’t let that human be too human – because there comes a time when the human mind is just… pretty much formed. You can’t really change it anymore, not in a meaningful way. You can change opinions, views, but you can’t really change the inherent way that mind works, how it gets there – to conclusions – and how that mind actually ticks.

You have to get that human in-between. You have to start letting him in bit by bit. You let him in “on the secret”. You let him in on a lot of things, day by day, you observe how he thinks and how he reacts, and based on that you push back or push forward. You make him feel a part of your world, and you push yourself in being a part of his world also.

You slowly merge the two worlds, you mix them, and you make that human change his mind completely. He will, eventually, live under the impression that this is life. This is how things go, this is one single world. When in fact, it isn’t.

You merge the feelings inside of him, you raise him as a vampire but let him live in the human world.

That’s how you create a vampire. You push him day by day, for years, into the vampire world, you watch over him and make sure you know every single thing he does and says, and then, you wait. You wait for that time when he is ready, when he, himself, will come to you and say: “I’m ready.”

And you’ll know then, you did a good job.

But you won’t be around anymore to reap the rewards… will you?