the vampire that I hate [story part 51]

I got up and before having the time to wipe that stupid expression off my face which I got every time something like this happened, Regina sat down on her knees and leaned forward and picked Sigismund up. Viktoria was still behind him also kneeling down looking at Regina.

They were ignoring me, and I decided to keep my mouth shut for the moment. I retreated in the background without a peep.

Regina leaned closer to Sigismund and said in a low, calm voice:

“Over 150,000….”

“Over 150,000 days I walked this Earth up and down, back and forth.”

“I searched for you. I searched for him (referring to me I suppose?) and then I gave up. It was all a lie that you told me. There is no greater order of things. There is no order at all. It’s all chaos! Nobody knows what the hell we’re doing, but we are. We are doing something.”

“150,000 days…” She put her head down and just went silent for a full minute.

“150,000 days and just as many…”

“Just as many hearts, sons and daughters, hearts stopped by these hands and these…” And she elevated her head once again.

Her fangs were fully extended. Her eyes were black and flowing with red, injected and tired, mixed with tears that she held back and with anger. Oh she was pissed, but spoke calm.

I was already thinking I shouldn’t be there. I didn’t want to hear that. I didn’t want to hear a head count.

“And for what?” She continued.

“Viktoria? She lost count long, long ago of the souls THAT I MADE her take. Long ago.” Viktoria’s face was still blank. She didn’t care.

“You lied. And you are still doing it.” She continued.

“No, no I didn’t.” Sigismund added.

“Then tell me, what’s so important that would have you rather spend 400 years trapped in a block of ice than being what you are supposed to be. What I am for Viktoria and what EVERY – SINGLE – VAMPIRE is for their offspring?”

“Don’t worry. I made sure NO vampire steps into this life without at least one person to rely on. At least ONE SINGLE PERSON that she can trust.”

Yeah, Regina was talking about herself.

“You left me with a religious myth, a promise and the hunger to bleed dry an entire village. Which I promptly did !”

“But you wouldn’t know that, would you?! No, because you cowardly ran…”

“So tell me, did you really think I’m here to be your liberator?”

“The world has changed, a lot. And you clearly have no intention to adapt, no idea how to adapt, nor do you want me – nor even you – around.”

“I built an empire. AN EMPIRE based on every single value opposed to yours.”

“Look.” She stood up and took him to the window.

“You see that? There are thousands of us out there.” She said as she pointed towards the greater area of Moscow.

“And hundreds of thousands more across the continent. Soon millions across the globe.”

I could see Sigismund’s face going blank. He was scared shitless, but not of Regina. No. Something about the number of vampires in the world made him shiver from within his very core. I was intrigued.

“There is no greater purpose. No good or bad. Nobody to rule over me or to make me do anything that I don’t want to.”

“And after all that, you still have the guts to tell me that it’s wrong. That I can’t. That I won’t. That I shouldn’t ??!”

“It doesn’t matter what you think or what you want. You don’t believe me? That’s great. Then tell me: Why him?” Sigismund asked, and looked towards me.

“Take the necklace away. Throw it away. Let’s see then how that goes.”

“Have you even STOPPED to think for a second that the only reason you’re still able to walk around wherever you want, do whatever you want, is because it’s only now that you found what you were looking for?”

“And you know damn well what you – what WE need to do.”

“Because this is the worst position we can possibly be in. Almost.”

Regina fell silent for a second.

“I don’t care!” She shrieked. Let’s see what happens! Let me show you that the two of us (referring to herself and Viktoria) are stronger than all of you ever were, in the entire history of our kind. You let yourselves be walked over time and time again. Controlled like little cage rats. For what?”

“Let me show you for what!”

Regina came towards me, ripped the necklace off my neck and threw it out the window. I yelled and I protested and all that, but I won’t bore you with any of the details. It was futile anyway. It was gone and I was fucked.

“For nothing.” She added, ad stopped.

I knew very well why I always wore that necklace. Didn’t need another demonstration.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” I yelled.

Sigismund started laughing like a maniac. I ignored him.

“You know damn well I need that!” I continued

“No, no you don’t!” Regina replied.

“Yeah, I know exactly what you’re thinking. And that’s not gonna happen. Not like this. I’m never going to say yes if you force me too.” I replied.

Upon hearing that, Sigismund started laughing even harder.

“Oh, that’s good. You ask for permission now?!” He asked and continued laughing.

“You know, you’re really starting to piss me off with that threat…” Viktoria added from the corner, directed at me.

“Why don’t you do something about it?” I answered, as sarcastically as I could. That was a mistake.

“Alright, alright…” Regina said.

“Well then Sigismund. You know what I want from you.” Regina continued.

“Start from the beginning. Everything that you never told me, now it’s your chance.”

“I already told you everything I know. Have a few of your own. Then find someone like I found you. Pass it on, and then that’s it for you, and your offspring. That’s how is supposed to be.” Sigismund answered.

“Yes, yes. That’s not what I want to hear.” Regina said.

“Everything. From the beginning.” She added.

Silence, blank stares and sadness. Nothing more, nothing less.

“I’ll get to the bottom of it somehow even without you telling me.” Regina added.

“You don’t have time.” Sigismund answered.

“We’ll see about that.” Regina replied as she went into the bathroom smiling.

She came out with a first-aid kit, placed it in front of Sigismund who was looking puzzled at it thinking it’s some kind of torture device maybe. She pulled out a syringe from there, stuck it in his neck and filled it with blood.

He didn’t even flinch.

“Now that I have what I need to get started… it won’t be long.” She continued.

What the hell was she on about? I felt again like I felt the very first day I met her. The more I thought I knew, the less I actually did.

“Viktoria.” Regina said as she gave her a look and nothing else.

Viktoria nodded.

“Let’s go.” She looked at me and left the room.

I wanted to complain about 1000 different things. I still remember that probably it was one of the times I felt so tired I just wanted to have a heart attack right then and there.

“Where are we going?” I asked as I rushed to catch her down the hallway like a confused kid.

“The hospital.”

Wait. What?

old habits die hard [story part 49]

“I’m sorry. I can’t anymore. One more drop and you’ll have to carry me back.” I said as I pried both of them off of me. Him from the wrist and Regina from the neck. I remember I started actually praying around that time, for it to be the last time I feel something like that.

I had never had two of them feeding off me in the same time. In five seconds you feel like your whole life just fell apart instantly. There has to be another component to it, because the drain is not only physical, but emotional too. You actually feel yourself being… taken away. I don’t know how else to put it.

“Or we can leave you here.” Sigismund responded.

“You know what? I’m really tired of you already. I’m the only reason you’re not still in that ice prison in the first place. How about some respect?” I said in frustration. I immediately regretted it, but the pressure and stress was taking its toll. I was on the brink of total collapse, emotionally. physically I felt more than fine, just had troubles keeping warm.

“RESPECT? To a boy?! I’m hundreds of years old. You should watch your tone.” He responded.

“No, you’re not. You were dead for all that time. It doesn’t fucking count. You didn’t live. I did. I know this world. You don’t. How about we leave you here?” I said angrily. I don’t respond well to threats.

Regina was smiling. Not saying anything, just smiling.

“Oh you’re acting like children.” She finally said.

“Well at least I have an excuse. I am one. What’s his?” I said. He growled.

We continued like that for what seemed like ages. I only remember what I said above, because that was pretty much the beginning of it. There comes a point in any discussion where arguments stop to matter and you start attacking the person you’re speaking too. Sure enough, we ended up arguing about who’s the man, as in, who’s the best, man or vampire. You don’t want that discussion, ever.

We were in a makeshift shelter for the day, and we needed rest. We fell asleep, one after another.

The second day we continued the talks started a day before. Regina was explaining as much as she could about the world today to Sigismund, I was most of the time left behind. I didn’t mind, I felt confident she could explain it better but then I started poking more and more into the conversation because it felt like it needed a human point of view too. I was making the case so to speak, for all mankind, hence why I say we continued the talks from the previous night. In any case, today I was terrible.

“How did you get here in the first place anyway?” I asked Sigismund.

“Well I certainly didn’t come here in the winter like you.” He responded.

“Good, because we needed an ice-breaker to get to the shore.” I added.

“An icebreaker?” He asked.

“Yes, you know, a ship that breaks ice.” I added smiling.

He was impressed just at the sound of it. I had a feeling he would like this world more than he should.

I also realized around that time that this was a major flaw – well not really a flaw – but more of an entry point into his bubble. Any person, vampire or animal has an invisible bubble around him, a bubble where he keeps all his confidence and it’s his territory alone. It’s hard to get through that bubble to a person, but I find that it’s usually the best approach to get the person interested or open about something that he likes or would like to know more. That’s why people get close if they have something in common, that’s why dogs like you if you offer them something interesting (not necessarily food) and that’s how I planned on taking on Sigismund.

“Ice breaker you say. Tell me more.” He said.

“Well what is there more to say. It’s a ship, that has a hard bow and breaks ice in fr…” I was interrupted.

“No, not about that, about others.” He said.

“Other… things. Like this ice-breaker.” Sigismund added.

“Like new inventions?” I asked.

“Not really, like things that I’m familiar with, but evolved through time. Old things turned new, like me.” He responded with half a smile on his face.

“You want to know old things turned new? Well how about this: Transilvania is not independent anymore. It belongs to Romania.”

He looked at Regina. She nodded.

“I like him.” He added, and turned back to me.

I want you, the reader, to understand that Sigismund was a real person. If you’ve missed the previous posts, Sigismund is a relative of Regina, his name is Sigismund Bathory, he ruled Transilvania for a while. He wasn’t bad nor exceptionally good, he helped lower Romania (Wallachia) with troops for fighting against the Ottomans (because it was in his interest), but in the end he was driven out after the Romanian armies marched into Transilvania.

He was a controversial person. Although of Hungarian family (the name Bathory) he was actually Romanian, and prince of Transilvania. He fought side by side with the Romanian troops against the Ottomans, but then he ceded Transilvania to his cousin, Andrei Bathory, who was Polish. This pissed off the Romanians. He also promised certain privileges to the Hungarians living in Transilvania, which were withdrawn by a Romanian governmental gathering later on.

He then changed his mind about the throne, and asked for it back from Andrei Bathory. After he received it, he decapitated a few officials which were Turkish sympathizers, including one of his own family, Baltazar Bathory.

He then ceded the throne a second time, leaving Transilvania to his wife, and went to Prague. A year later he came back unexpectedly, took Transilvania again, only to cede it back once again to his cousin, Andrei Bathory.

After Andrei Bathory died, he came back once AGAIN and took Transilvania, but this time the Romanian troops have had enough of this power-play, went to war with him, defeated him and he returned to Prague once again.

He supposedly died in Prague, the Czech Republic, in 1613, 28 years after Regina was born, 300 km from Cachtice Castle were Regina was born.

But enough with the history lesson.

“Well at least it’s not Turkish.” He replied.

“Oh don’t get me started on the Turks.” Regina yelled from the front.

“We’re here.” Regina shouted at us without turning, and picked-up the pace.

In front of us was the shore, covered in the thickest of fog you can imagine. A single small boat was there, with one person freezing his ass off in it.

He didn’t say a thing. He didn’t raise his head. None of us said anything either, except me of course, I said hello and a pat on the back. He recoiled.

He started the engine, barely. The boat must have been there for a while, and we headed through some really massive waves into the open.

“YOU – wave – CALL – wave – THIS – wave – AN ICEBREAKER?!” Sigismund was yelling through the splashes of water at me.

“TURN AROUND.” I yelled back.

“WHAT?” He responded.

“BEHIND YOU.” I yelled again.

I didn’t see the look on his face, but I can imagine it.

Such a sight must have been something for him. There it was. Now, I know for some of you the name might mean something imposing, and it should, but there are different types of ice-breakers. Small, Medium, Large and Nuclear. I would have loved for him to see the latter, but the truth is this one barely kept afloat, was of medium caliber, but where it lacked in size it compensated in lights. If you’ve ever seen a search boat in the night, with the lights turned on, you know what I mean.

But he wasn’t impressed by the lights nor the size. He was impressed by the material.

“But this is pure iron!” He exclaimed as he knocked strongly on the side of the ship.

“Steel.” I replied.

“Steel? All this is steel? But this must take decades to make, such a large amount of steel.” He replied back.

“Not anymore.” And I pulled myself on board, leaving him behind on the wooden ladder behind me.

I could hear him still shouting behind me.

“And it floats!” He was ecstatic.

I was sure by now that this was truly the best way to get into his bubble. A curios person will be a curios person no matter for how many centuries he’s been dead. Death doesn’t make you boring – or bored – death makes you want to live and know that much more.

As we walked inside the warm bowels of the ship, warmth for the very first time in over a week, he said in a lower voice, to himself.

“I could conquer the world with a fleet of these…”

Oh, I wondered, what an amazing photo would it make of his expression when presented with a Nimitz class super carrier.

As soon as we descended into the ship, a 60 something old man with clear Russian features and with two missing fingers saluted us and kissed Regina.

Oh I wondered… but I didn’t ask. Was this me, 40 years from now?

A cabin with 2 bunk beds, 4 seats was opened for us and we stepped inside. Not a minute later, two men entered the cabin. Two very big and solid men. I jolted to my feet in less than a second, thinking this meant trouble, but as fast as I jolted Regina did too, straight for the neck of one of the men. He didn’t fight back. It was consensual. She was two, maybe three times smaller than the man, and she coiled around him like a snake with both of her feet wrapped around his waist and one of her hands around his head and with the other hand pushed against the metal bar of one of the beds. I could see the man’s face getting red, then blue, then white, as he failed in strength as solid as he was. His feet slowly gave way, his knees started bending and then he left himself go. Regina fell with him but still coiled around him continued to squeeze like an anaconda and breathe heavily as she sunk deeper and deeper until the man almost passed out.

She stopped and didn’t wipe her mouth. She stood over him, blood still dripping from her mouth, breathing as like she had just finished a hundred meter dash. I was out of there in a second. As I left, the door closed behind me and just through a small crack before closing, as I turned, I could see her face as she was in her true from like this. I shuddered. Oh, if I only knew how close I was and how much control she has over her body to resist such hunger with me next to her, for so many days.

Not a minute later, the two men left the cabin, barely keeping their balance, but ok, and with a smile on their face.

This was a brave weird new world.

revealing of the vampire secret [story part 41]

the very next day – and the ones to come – were probably among the most revealing for me in the whole time. Now don’t go around expecting huge spoilers, because I’ll let everything flow with the story, but the following few days were of particular interest because of at least two things. That’s one of the reasons I also chose to continue the story in this format (split into days) until we get over this part.

This is the first post in a series of a few, which I shamelessly title “revealing of the vampire secret”.

This is no. I.

***

The test before the test.

September, 2007. Still in Sighisoara. Night-time. A day had passed since the last post. Usually, boring day. I’m sure not for you, but for the sake of the story, there’s nothing to be said about it. Regina and I spent the day with the family. Finally got her in the same room with my brother for more than a few seconds. Nothing interesting happened. Night time came, here we are, case closed.

Around 22:00 Regina started getting impatient. She was looking from left to right as like she was expecting someone.

She wasn’t. Not really.

We were in the garden and the warmth of the summer was still lingering in the air, just barely.

“So – have you kept up with what I said?” – Regina was referring to me training like a maniac every single day. I slacked, a bit, but in the most part, I was good for it.

“Care to try me out?” I responded.

“Oh, taking the devil by the horns, are we?” She added.

“Literally.” I finished.

And she launched towards me. She missed. She was playing me I thought of the time but now, I mean years later, I’m not so sure.

In any case, the look on her (my?) face was good enough for an intake of… well, much-needed self-esteem, which I lacked terribly those days, but fear not, they were coming back.

She launched towards me again and I dodged again, but much more of a close call this time. Was she playing me or just testing me? Learning how I move? Can’t tell. In any case, this wasn’t really… well, it was play. I mean, she was just casually running at me from side to side trying to catch me off guard. And that, that is the whole point – never, ever let yourself touched. That’s the whole key. Keep your distance, attack through defense – as in – when THEY get close. Don’t charge. Once you get grabbed, that’s it – because you simply don’t have enough strength to overpower them.

This wasn’t Regina… Regina, as in, the queen of vampires Regina. This was just your average girl, a more angry and stronger than usual girl. I beg you to read the part of the story where she actually fought someone, and you’ll get a totally different picture, and know what I’m talking about here.

This went on for quite a few more minutes. Mother and father were actually looking at us from the terrace, which was just a meter above ground, attached to the house which is about 20 meters away.

They were talking, although I have no idea what they were saying. Nowadays I just try to think that they were saying something along the lines of “Aww look at them how nice they are playing…” although I’m fairly certain that it wasn’t the case back then. It makes me feel better now, so what? Lying to myself, yeah, I did do that a lot.

“Well you’ve certainly gotten bigger…” Regina said, and that was very much true. I was no longer overshadowed, physique wise, by her. A bit taller, much wider, and more imposing now than her. At least with my body, except the look. Because those eyes and the look she had, those could rival any body in the world.

You could be the most muscular, angry and massive person out there – when she looked at you with that specific look – you backed the fuck off.

I don’t know if you actually know anyone with that kind of “killer” look – some Russian people might subscribe to this, but if you do, then imagine that amplified by… by however much it’s needed for you to stop wanting to look them in the eyes.

Now of course, this wasn’t her look all the time but trust me, it worked wonders in oh so many situation which would have had much, much more different (as in bad, very bad) results that they did in the past.

The secret.

Hold your horses, we’re getting to that.

She came from behind me, I heard it, and turned around ready to just punch whatever was coming to me.
You, the reader, do you train? Or, has someone ever tried to piss you off to the point where you just snapped?

I’m asking because – some of you might know that feeling when play turns serious without even realizing it. You just go along with it and before you realize it, you’re angry. What the hell happened? You could have sworn you were playing a second ago.

That was the case here, with me.

I didn’t punch anyone, I turned and nobody was there. She had vanished, only to jump at me from the tree above, not even a second later.

I fell down, broke (dislodged maybe?) a finger when I touched the ground.

“God damn it.” I said.

“I’m not… Be gentle, ok?” I said this mockingly – I mean how can you be gentle in a fight? And I started walking away, with her following me close-by. I’m sure she was smiling behind me. I never saw it. Am I lying to myself again?

I always was a bit amazed by my family and how they handled things. It seemed, and still does, as they were all under some sort of conspiracy. Granted, I’m fairly sure Regina had a lot to do with it, as you’re about to see, but still, the way they handled everything was nothing but short of a miracle. No questions, no sadness, no secrets.

Although they were all very well aware (except me apparently) on what would be the course of action – somewhere along the lines of what happened to Blanche. At the time, we weren’t really thinking about that, none of us.

As we got inside the house Regina jumped me once again and pinned me to the wall with my face towards the wall. I knew what she was doing, that’s how she liked to feed on most people. Guilt maybe? I doubt it. Maybe more control. However, she rarely did it to me.

She always, always looked me in the eyes before. So naturally, I responded.

Instead of giving in, I fought back, which is maybe one of the only two times when I did fight back on it.

She turned me around several times and caught my hands above my head with one hand, and with the other force turned my head, and with me squirming there she just sank her teeth deep inside my left shoulder – just above, with me still squirming, cursing and being completely immobilized. I wasn’t mad, I wasn’t afraid. I wasn’t even upset. This was a mere continuation of the angry play-battle from the outside, and a way for her to cool-off I guess. I was just… not willing. But that didn’t matter. I think she made it a life principle to make sure I know how it feels being fed on as often as possible, hungry or not, I had to remember.

And that’s good practice I guess, if you’re planning to turn someone. Make sure he knows the other side too. I didn’t care too much about knowing the other side, nor at being turned.

My point was proven, to me, more than enough times. She often just bit me for a few seconds and then let go – for the sake of it – and then bit again in the same spot. This time was different, but was still a bite.

After she finished, she did look me in the eyes.

“You’ve gotten angry, haven’t you. I can almost taste it.” She said.

“You make me angry.” I responded, smiing.

“And that’s not always a bad thing….” She added.

“But you did grow quite a bit…” She said, while looking at where she bit, implying there was just that much more of me to feed on.

And she bit again, from the neck. That one hurt, and was more violent – and straight forward. Obviously intentional. God dammit!

She wasn’t holding my hand anymore so I grabbed her head with both my hands, but gently, not in a get lost kind of way, but in a slow down kind of way, and gently tried pushing her away… and she let go, like a dog who is finally sick of that toy he’s been grabbing with his teeth for the past hour – she looked at me confused.

Still holding her head with my hands, in almost complete darkness, I kissed her without flinching. This was, at least for me, a first.

Not the kiss, the timing.

She was in pretty much all her senses, fully blown vampire, eyes wide open swirling with just complete reddish darkness inside, fangs more than visible, as in almost they had grown too that past year, her face – almost growling, but not really – I had come to learn that was just a natural expression because of the fangs – she was breathing hard and a few of her hairs were touching the corner of her mouth which had my blood on it.

Me, sweaty as hell from all the struggle, she – fully in her true vampire face, standing there, one feral as a panther, the other – me – experiencing something out of this world – she, with her mouth and lips intentionally left covered in my own blood. Lips half parted, eyes drilling holes in my head. That picture right there would burn any other memory you have for a very, very long time – and would stay with you for years to come.

I kissed her just like that. And she seemed stiff. As in, not reacting. Her hands were stiff alongside her body, she didn’t move, she didn’t react. She just continued breathing really hard. Although I’m fairly certain that everything I did while with Regina, she had done it at least 20 times before, no matter how unlikely it seemed, she was acting more than… overwhelmed.

I had later learned it wasn’t emotion, but feelings, as in physical feelings.

Her, and anyone eases  fangs, are so sensitive they almost hurt when touched in such moments. I don’t know how they work, both for attacks and for feeding, if they are so sensitive. I have no idea, they just do, and sometimes when they feed they are like these, too sensitive to even look at, and sometimes they are rock hard ready for anything. I don’t know why and how this happens, it’s like they have a life and a heart of their own.

In any case – I felt her flinch alright when I gently touched the tip of her fangs with my lips and then dug in even harder and kissed her again. My own blood, in my own mouth, didn’t seem so far-fetched, nor as disgusting as it once felt.

Sure, we’ve all cut ourselves making dinner at some point and put our finger in our mouth, out of habit, instinct, just like a dog licking his own wounds. But that amount is hardly descriptive for how blood REALLY tastes like. In higher quantities, for a human at least, it’s sour, bitter and sweet in the same time. It’s a very confusing taste, which when coupled with an irony smell and taste, warm and a bit oily, it just becomes gag-response inducing.

But for me, I had enough time to get used to it, and that night I just didn’t really think about it. Regina was genuinely having shivers running down her spine which just made it that more better.

I don’t know how to better describe this, but this was that kind of kiss that just beat sex hands-down. It was that kind of kiss where you just want to rip off all your clothes and just merge with the one you’re kissing. It’s like those times where you really, really want to bite someone’s lip but you’re holding it back and it’s just very, very hard to hold back.

And that’s what I FELT. Now imagine what she felt, and the amount of control one needs to have to do that, for someone in her position.

But I’m making too much of a deal of something that’s not relevant to the story.

The relevant part about this is the fact that maybe this was, like many others, one of those moments in which I consolidated my relation with Regina, and my feelings towards the whole kinship, and the idea of being one of them. Also, it was a pretty decisive moment for helping me decide my path the following few days.

I think I had passed the tests, both the “Are you strong enough (not necessarily physically)?” test and the “Are you still the same person I cared about?” test.

After the whole thing we just… let ourselves fall down. As in a synchronous, without thinking about it, we both let our legs go in the same time and just slid down, convulted, in a weird – but proprietary – way of holding each other.

And we stood there for a few minutes…

“I think I found Sigismund…” She whispered to the ceiling.

I almost passed out.