and as she stood there lying, the world seemed colorless and soundless for a minute… [story part 13]

February 19, 2012 § Leave a comment

There was no sound, not like in the movies where you hear that metallic sound every time this happens. No. The silence was incomprehensible. It was an eerie silence, and a weight that seemed like a ton fell to my shoulders. My ears shut down. My mouth opened, my heart stopped beating and my lungs stopped working. I was in shock.

Blanche fell on the floor like a puppet, blood covering instantly the whole floor. Sophia still fainted, Viktor horrified out of his skull, too afraid to leave the living room, hid under a table and started sobbing.

I instantly threw myself at Regina – that was the moment I realized it was all my fault and I couldn’t care less if she killed me too – and I tried to take her knife and just jab it in her eyes.

I failed miserably. She shooed me with a hand just like you would shoo a fly and I tripped over Blanche’s now almost lifeless body and fell next to her.

I opened my eyes and Blanche was looking at me with eyes wide open, choking on her own blood, twitching still. With the life she still hand in her, she grabbed my hand and squeezed it. From that little gesture I understood so much.

I understood how Blanche said one simple thing: “I believe you. Remember what we talked. Do something!”
I understood right.

I raised my head up to Regina who, by know, realized what she had done and was starting to feel guilty I think. I wish at least.
Regina had realized she kind of overdone it – but the law was the law for her I think she calmed herself with that.
I think Regina realized that she had lost me too, by doing this.
I think Regina understood that killing everything which your mate holds dear will have serious consequences for her, something which with she was not accustomed to – consequences that is.

“Do it now.” I told Regina.
“She will die soon enough.” Regina said.

“NO! I didn’t mean help her die! I meant do something to save her!” I was screaming by now.
“I can’t. I won’t.” Regina said, and turned her back, cleaning her knife with a rag like she was dusting it off, completely normal.

“If you don’t turn her now, she’ll die.” That was obvious, although I needed to remind Regina, she didn’t seem to comprehend that. Oh but she did.

“I know.” she said, and smiled, falsely, but she did. I couldn’t have been more angry. I was now starting to understand the fourth part of being a vampire. There was being human, one. Being a vampire, two. Being in a frenzy state – black panther state – the hungry / aroused / angry state. That state where reason was out of the question for a vampire, three. And now it was this: being a monster, a ruthless serial killer who had no conscience and no remorse for ending a life, fourth.

“You will never have my blood again – even if I have to die to prevent it.” – now that felt heroic for me. I think that was actually the most heroic thing I had said in my life up until that point, even though I was a liar, I had no intention of ending my life, ever.

Regina looked at me, knelt down and over Blanche’s now not moving body, she looked into my eyes.

“Would you ever be able to look at me the same you did this morning?” – that was a though question, in a very bad moment. Or, to think of it – the best moment one could actually pick to get a very truthful answer.

“Would you ever be able to redeem yourself, in front of me?” – whatever that meant, I only wanted to make her shut up and just help Blanche.

She looked at me for a few seconds, looked through me actually. She was doing math in her head – that’s what she looked like to me. I can’t read her mind so that is the best description I can give you.

After a few seconds, she looked down at Blanche and with two fingers took blood straight from the wound. Regina put the bloody fingers in her mouth, looked like she was enjoy the flavor of a nice lemon pie.

Ten seconds later her eyes started going darker and darker again, the reddish tint was livelier than ever and her fangs started extending by the second.


She bit her wrist violently, several times, twisting it in her mouth, making a wound that would certainly kill a human being and would be very hard to close. She was making sure it took a while before it closed for her. I understood.

She took Blanche’s head with her left hand, tilted it up and shoved the bloody wrist in her mouth.
With her usually commanding tone that she had in such moments, she told Blanche to start swallowing.

“Drink!” – Regina said to no result. Blanche was not breathing anymore. Or at least that what it seemed like to me.
“You’re too late!” I told her in an accusing tone. I was angrier than what she did now, I was actually angrier that she had failed to save her because of too much chat.

Regina looked at me and then with the intensity and quickness of a black mamba she stuck her teeth into Blanche’s stomach, just to the left of the bellybutton, where the liver is. Her whole area was uncovered from the fall and from me trying to pull her up.

Blanche opened her eyes immediately and shrieked in pain. I knew what that meant, I had felt that exact pain just a night before. Regina was causing that intense pain on purpose, and now I knew she could inflict it to her own will, or she could deny it. She could also control it apparently, because Blanche surely felt more pain than me seeing her face. At least she was awake.

With that, Regina bit her wrist again and shoved it into Blanche’s mouth.

“Drink!” she said again. And with that, Blanche looked at me, with Regina’s hand in her mouth, searched my eyes for an answer, for approval. I knew she needed approval for what she was about to do, and I also knew she wouldn’t have done it if I would have said no at that time. That was Blanche, very independent, very sure of herself, trustworthy and happy, yet, every time, she looked at me for approval when there was a decision to be made. They all did.

I nodded and then added: “You will die otherwise.”

And she started swallowing.
She drank for maybe twenty seconds and then Regina took her wrist away.

“That’s enough.” she said, putting her hand in her mouth. She really enjoyed blood apparently, no matter whose it was.
I knew what that meant. I knew Blanche will be turned into an inferior rang vampire. I didn’t care. I just wanted to see her alive and well, and I was actually feeling, besides worried and scared out of my head, a bit giddy, for I was about to witness the miracle of resurrection in front of my eyes.

“By morning she will no longer be who you used to know. Get ready for it.” Regina said, looking at Viktor.

Then she turned her back to Blanche who was still in the same bad shape. I expected the miracle sooner, but apparently it took longer than I thought.

“Listen to me Blanche. You will become like me – a vampire. Do you understand that?” Regina said.
Blanche nodded slowly.

“Good. You have to accept it willingly. I cannot force you to become one.” – Yeah, right, at least not indirectly. She already killed her, this was the only option. In my book, that’s forcing.

Blanche said nothing.
Then Regina started the whole thing again. She repeated the exact same Latin words the blond guy (which by now I had identified as being that Karl) and Blanche looked into her eyes confused.

Then she started saying the exact same words in Romanian, perfect translation.
I now understood how it went: first original, in Latin, then the language of the one who is about to be turned.
At the end, Blanche, without hesitation, said: “I accept.”

Once again, Regina shoved her wrist in her Blanche’s mouth and urged her to drink. Blanche complied.
After another 5 seconds, it was done and as soon as Regina took her hand away, Blanche went unconscious.

“And as for them, they have to suffer the same fate.” – I surely hoped she didn’t mean death.
“NO! No more killing or turning! One tragedy is enough for a night.” I said.

“That’s what you think I am? A TRAGEDY?” Regina blurted out.

“Yes, you’re a tragedy, but not for what you are, but because for what you just did!” I repeated on the exact same tone she had used.
“Yes well I know this all seems a bit much, but you’ll understand soon enough.” – I really hoped that doesn’t meant me suffering the same fate as Blanche.

“Plus” she added “She still had about five minutes and twenty seconds to live so it wasn’t that close as to what you might think.”

“Oh so you can also see the future? How long do I have?” – I was being sarcastic.

“Don’t be an idiot. With a rate of 110 bmp and about 70mL/beat, she would transport 7.7 kg of blood per minute, and, with that same heartbeat, at a loss of 5mL / second due to her wound, she would have lost enough blood to survive, which would be around 1.6kg, in five minutes and twenty seconds.”

My mind was blown. I didn’t even want to know if she stopped to check her pulse or if it came natural to her, feeling the pulse of someone. In any case, that kind of math in that situation, although not so stressful for her, made it clear for me. Regina was much smarter than what I had given her credit for, and I wondered whether if she was smarter due to her knowledge that she got over the years, or due to her ability to heal. Did the latter affect her brain also? Making it run smoother, acquire connections faster, make synapses fire faster and more efficient and preventing neurons from dying? What about memories, did they ever fade away? I had a million questions.


Later on it turned out Regina had a deep understanding of like I mentioned in an earlier post, pretty much all of the important fields of human knowledge. She knew the night sky by heart with the names of each and every star and constellation, orbits, velocities, she had knowledge of advanced astrophysics, college grade mathematics, biology, chemistry and transmutations, she knew all the elements, what they combine with, how, reactions etc. She had medical knowledge from really old remedies to really new techniques. She had technological and engineering knowledge. She was prepared in philosophy, religion, politics and economics like an expert in each of those fields. She also had a very good knowledge in human psychology – that I understood. You have to know your prey.

Imagine a human Wikipedia with a Wolfram Alpha brain. She was that, and yet, despite all of our theories about how “the smarter you are the harder to socialize and integrate into society” she was still an interesting, happy, social human being, which made it clear that theories, of any sort, failed in her case. She was the smartest person I’ve known, and still managed to get surprised, amused and stay interested in… well, life itself.


“Wow.” – that was all I could say
“Plus, why would you call this a tragedy? She wanted it, who are you to say this is not evolution?” she said, interrupting my line of thought and shoving me into another.

She was right – because for all I could think and see – vampirism had no drawbacks, and only advantages. If you are thinking about blood drinking as a disadvantage, well, I beg to differ. For one, it’s more enjoyable as a vampire than a cake for a human apparently, and second, there are more humans in the world getting blood transfusions everyday, than there are vampires feeding. I failed to see the problem.

“Yes, you’re right, she did want it, but not like this!” – I said, having the tone from before.
“The problem with the other two still stands.” – she said plainly and rather tired of this whole situation.

“You know too well that I can’t let them live.” she continued.
“Why not?” – I was being annoying.

“It’s against the law.” – same bored tone.

“What law?” – I was being even more annoying.

“My law.” – no comment.

“Break it.” – I meant it.

“No.” – She meant it too.

“You have to.” – I was aware I won’t convince her by repeating the same thing.

“There’s only one thing I can do. I let them live on your account. If they even mention me once, in their thoughts, you will be the one to die for them, and them after you.” – figures. I hope you’ll end up needing a human being one day, see how that feels.

“Would you really do that?” – I didn’t want to know. Good enough, she just looked at me with no expression whatsoever, saying nothing. I couldn’t get any reading of a yes or no.

And then I realized that against all “evidence” that Regina was a monster, she wasn’t. Yes, she was powerful, but a monster? Depends on the view point.

Regina was neither bad nor evil, neither a demon nor an angel. She was a force of nature. A tidal wave of gigantic proportions. She had the power to take and give life, she was eternal and she knew it. She had the strength and knowledge of thousands of men and she knew how to use it. She had under her command legions of beings as power as she was, and she could use those too. She was both a god and a human in the same time. She managed to stay happy in sad situations, managed to keep herself interested in life over the centuries, when, some humans can’t even do that for twenty years and end up killing themselves. She was worthy of worship, not respect.

"In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer." - Albert Camus. For that is what Regina was.

She was a volcano, in all and every possible way. She was a taker of life, and yet she made it possible for others. She was icy on the surface and yet held warmth within. She could explode and eradicate all that was around her in mere seconds. Lightning and thunder rolled over and out of her eyes. Indeed, she was a volcano.

And then Viktoria stormed in the room with a big smile on her face.
Great. That was the last thing we needed, another hungry vampire in a room where rivers of blood apparently were flowing.

“Oh but what have we here…” she said.
She looked at Blanche for a quick second and just froze.

“No.” she said, bewildered by what she had just seen.

when history repeats itself [story part 11]

January 26, 2012 § 1 Comment

January 5th, well over midnight.

We were in the church, something was definitely moving around, for what seemed like hours for me, I now realize it wasn’t more than three seconds until the door slammed shut, Regina became alert, something moved in the top right corner which was just pure nothingness. It was so dark that not even getting right underneath it would make anything visible in that corner.

I remember I thought werewolves at the time. Later I laughed at myself. I have come to know since then, than even the supernatural – or what we consider supernatural but is actually explainable – has limits. The limits being: nobody just transforms into a wolf just because the moon is shining. Just as vampires can’t shape-shift, werewolves don’t exist.

Tell-tales. I was rest assured of this by some very (VERY) knowledgeable… people. Although now I realize they might have been playing around. Doesn’t matter, doesn’t change the fact.

There were no werewolves there, that’s for sure, instead, out of the shadow a long, slim and very beautiful girl – although I couldn’t care less at that time – descended right in front of me.

I had maybe less than a second to take everything in. She was wearing what we would call “under dressed” – especially for a cold January night. She had tight jean shorts, military black boots and on top she merely had a tight denim jacket which was only buttoned at the neck, leaving the whole area underneath exposed. Nothing else except a sporty kind of bra. It was a weird outfit and I truly wondered how was she not freezing. I was dressed up to my teeth and was till cold as hell.

She had long silky hair, which was long enough to touch  her lower back. She was not blonde, she was way more than that. She was silver, almost white, that kind of blonde. The moonlight sure added to that even more. Her lips were almost non-existent, rather than Regina’s which were always full, oily and pink. Waiting for a kiss, or a bite.

She was even whiter than Regina and her eyes were a true match with the color of a shallow seaside. That kind of see-through green, strong but somewhat washed up green. They seemed to have a spark in them for a second, but then they turned almost to grey, flat, devoid of any life.

She looked at me… suspiciously, investigative. She examined my eyes, looked at my pendant for a bit and then turned her head. Now all this lasted for less than two seconds. She had just jumped down from somewhere from the upper corner – no idea how she got there or how was she even staying there, but there had to be some supports I guessed.

In any case, after she looked at me she turned her head and looked at Regina, which by now was straightening herself up, looking suspiciously comfortable, and putting her knife back in her leather jacket.

“My queen…” she was bowing before her! This silver fox was on her knees in front of Regina.

“Stand up and stop doing that every time you see me. I would rather have a kiss.” – Regina said and with that, I got giddy I might see the two of them kissing.

Disappointment struck when silvery there approached Regina and she was the one who got kissed, my Regina kissed her, on her forehead. I considered that to be pretty… mom-daughter kind of relationship. I certainly hoped that wasn’t the case. It wasn’t.

“What are you doing here?” Regina said commanding her to start speaking, now.
“I was about to ask you the same thing.” – Well, it seemed that silver was already very friendly and talked with Regina as she would talk with an equal.

“You should know better that my affairs are not of your concern.” Regina said. I really hoped silvery wouldn’t make her mad again, because we had just been there, done that a few minutes before. Wasn’t ready for round two.

“Forgive me.” And she bowed her head again. The she tilted it back up and continued “It has been reported to me, in your absence, by a critter, that two killings took place here. I came to see to it.” silvery said.

“And? What did you find Viktoria…?” Regina said with a faintly amused tone. I didn’t find anything amusing about more killings. I had no idea that Viktoria was actually talking about the two vampires that died here.

“Well, nothing. I just arrived here…” Viktoria said.

“I ended their misery. They are down under me if you feel like talking with two dead critters. You have nothing to attend to anymore.” – It felt to me like Viktoria was either a servant or someone who took care of pressing matters while Regina was doing whatever she did, with me, or others. She had a very neutral face about the whole incident. She had no questions regarding why and how they died. She plainly didn’t gave a rat’s ass about them, especially the fact that at hearing the word ‘critters’ her face went even more neutral. Apparently, vampires and critter vampires didn’t mean the same thing.

Then Viktoria looked at me raising an eyebrow, and Regina intervened: “Meet the one I have chosen.” And before I had the chance to charm her with my spells and good looks, before I could even open my mouth to say hello, Viktoria interrupted me.

“But he’s just a boy!” She said.
“VIKTORIA!” Regina shouted back.

“I… forgive me. I don’t know what’s happening with me. This… boy. It’s making me feel uneasy.” Viktoria apologized and once again was back with her head bowed down.

“I understand.” Regina said approvingly. This was nice of her I thought, or maybe Viktoria was not just someone else, because she sure was possessive of me, which didn’t bother me, yet.

Regina then looked at me and then introduced us properly.

“This is Viktoria Smirnova – my closest companion, and oldest.” Regina said. This was getting interesting.

“Hello.” I finally managed to have said it. Yes! But at that Viktoria came close to me and as instead of nodding or responding back, she came too close to me. She smelled my lips and I backed out – what the hell.

At that I saw her fangs elongating and her eyes already dark and red, swirling inside like the Black Sea in a rough storm.
“Tasty…” and she flashed towards me, but instead I countered her flash with one of my own. A flash from my flashlight, which was still going strong. I remembered how strong it was when I shone it to my face and now I did the same to Viktoria.

She hissed and turned her head. I stopped her right there and then, and that’s how I knew: Vampires did see better, much better, when they were in their “frenzy” state. That’s why their pupils dilated to extreme like that, they were sucking in all the light they could, and others.

I didn’t get to see all of the reaction because by now Regina was already between us, with her back to me and going slowly towards Viktoria.

“Viktoria… I didn’t know…. you had it in you…” Regina was saying this as she was going with slow, small steps towards Viktoria which by now was backing down, making herself seem smaller and thinner than Regina, which wasn’t the case no matter how you looked at it.

“I’m sorry. Regina. My queen. Please… I need to leave this place. I don’t feel myself near the boy. Please. It was a mistake…”

Regina just kept going slowly towards her, she was much like a cat by now, or a snake. Or both, she was both walking and undulating her body closer and closer to her prey, which was Viktoria.

I wondered why didn’t she just run, she sure was fast enough for that. But she didn’t. Instead she propped herself with the back to the pillar, the same pillar I was just backed into not even twenty minutes before, and looked at Regina approaching her, with horror.

Regina came close to her, closer than necessary, she basically stuck her whole body to Viktoria’s and then very slowly, she inclined her head and Viktoria already inclined hers too, in an upward motion, tilted towards the right and the ceiling, exposing her neck. It was like she knew.

Regina continued what she was doing without stopping for anything, it was one smooth dance, which seemed rehearsed over and over again over the centuries…

I heard Viktoria’s flesh ripping, I could feel it in my own neck even – and I remembered how I was in the exact situation just a while ago. Viktoria was squirming slowly, not violently, shaking her body and clenching her jaw and her fists, and she actually had the power to keep shouting in pain. In agony. It was pure horror for me to even think about how much pain that should be, to make a vampire scream in agony. I only figured that Regina was capable of inflicting much more pain that she had done to me. And I also understood that a vampire’s weapon of choice is often a bite and not the mind, for it is sure effective – in the short-term at least.

I was also pretty puzzled as to how exactly things happened – as far as I knew vampires drank blood for nutrition – but what nutrition could they get from another vampire? Did Viktoria just feed? I ushered my thoughts rapidly as I saw Regina pulling back and Viktoria falling to her knees. Looking at me and then putting her head down. She was exhausted and I hated myself thinking that I had caused this, but then, she was a bitch anyway, she deserved it. I was still pretty doubtful that she will let this go. I will have an enemy, for centuries, apparently.

And when I say that a vampire’s bite is effective in the short-term. I mean it. Against all odds, Viktoria stood up, erased her tears (So vampires could indeed cry! And not blood! They just needed a very good reason, like this) and slowly approached me. I backed out a bit, but a reassuring look from Regina made me stop and let her come to me. I felt exactly like visiting a friend who has a dog, and he looks at me to reassure me that the dog is docile and won’t bite.

Viktoria bowed down to me to – now that was more like it – then she apologized.

“I’m sorry… there’s something… I… you’re different.” Viktoria said.

Regina intervened: “Of course he is! Look at his neck” and Viktoria was looking for a place to bite, but I saw her eyes and knew all too well what Regina was referring to, so I put my thumb under my pendant and pushed it forward, and with that Viktoria drew in a sharp breath and put her hand over her mouth.

Human instincts I thought. Glad she has them. But an amazed vampire? That’s pretty rare.

She only said one word, whispering it to herself: “Anna” and she looked at Regina.

“Yes, it’s the one.” – I really hoped she was referring to the pendant and not me, otherwise it would have felt  too Matrix for me.

Later did I find that she was referring to both. Damn my intuition. But then something else jumped in mind. Viktoria knew who Regina was, she knew her name!

Regina, like always, read me like an IKEA instruction manual and knew exactly what I was thinking. She came close to me and looking me straight in the eyes, with a “I’m dead serious look” she told me:

“Viktoria is my biggest and most fortunate mistake I’ve ever made. She was one of the girls my mother had for me to feed, but I was young…” and she trailed off, feeling a hint of guilt in her eyes.

“…she had nobody to teach her, and she was hungry. She took too much from me and then…” Viktoria trailed also. This felt awkward, they were completing each other’s sentences like two twins. But then again, if two persons are together for more than five centuries, that’s got to mean more than twin thinking.

“…and then I tried to give it back by biting myself and forcing her to drink. She drank more from me than she had left in her body, and so we became the same.” and there and then I understood the second way of making a vampire.

“I wanted to end her afterwards, I didn’t want anyone else like me.” Regina said and then after a short look at Viktoria, continued “but I’m glad I didn’t. She kept me company through the centuries. Even though we rarely saw each other in the last hundred years…” and now she was looking at Viktoria with an inquisitive look, which in turn had a very guilty face.

“I found my mate.” Viktoria was explaining to me.
“Yes you did my love.” And with that Regina kissed her forehead again. My love? More kissing? I felt I wasn’t supposed to be there. But I was wrong.

And then, looking back at my necklace, Viktoria told me again how this was Regina’s over five centuries ago – it never crossed my mind selling the damn thing – and was asking me where I got it and everything that Regina and I already had went over, and seeing as how I approved of everything, with a clear face of “I know, I know” she announced:

“Then we have to find them! Once and for all!”

“Find who?” I said.

“Whoever gave this to me, and you for that matter.” Regina said. But wait, that could only mean one thing: the black eyed children.

“But that’s impossible!” I said, and then without allowing any of them to speak again I continued on the same reassuring tone I had started “We all know they only showed up two times! Out of nowhere! In 500 years!”

“Yes, but nobody ever searched for them, for all we know, nobody knows they exist.” Regina said looking like she was just hatching a plan.

“All I have to do is find my maker, maybe he will know more…” Regina said, looking worried at her own plan. I had the impression she didn’t like her own plan. Which rarely happens even in the human world.

“But you…” I said without having the opportunity to finish.

“I know what I said…” she was stroking my face with her right hand, going with her finger down my neck to see if I’m still wounded. I wasn’t.

“But I never found him because like the children, I never searched. I’m not very curious by nature…” Regina said.
“Well you sure had me fooled.” I added.

Viktoria was smiling. I guess it got very rarely for her to see a human, a boy, a baby compared to them, standing up and making sarcastic comments to Regina.

“Yes, well, the necklace is of a special interest to me.” Regina said and she saw how I got upset almost instantly. Of course I got upset, I was giddy because she was interested in me, not my necklace.

Saying that, a silence fell over the whole church. My flashlight was now off and the only light we had left was the moon, which was getting dimmer and dimmer because it was moving in a spot obscured by one of the pillars. I felt an eerie feeling creeping up my spine. Here I was, in total darkness, above an empty crypt with hundreds of skeletons – human and vampire, and to top that off, two rather angry and hungry vampires were standing next to me. In the shadows.

It was my worst nightmare and my most beautiful dream I had yet. And, in that silence, Regina once again elegantly boasted her commanding skills. Her way of saying anything she wanted to anyone she pleased, for she was a queen, but, at the time for me she looked more like a spoiled girl. Which surely was not. She had the elegance of a well looked after French princess and in the same time the rigidity and ambition, the trust in herself and the look of what I imagined could as well be the look on Caesar’s face.

She boasted all this, and expressed all that she was through something rather simple. She broke the silence when she raised her hands and announced with a commanding authority: “I have decided. We shall talk more about this.”

“Oh…?” I said. I instantly had the feeling of shutting the hell up, she wasn’t finished. Again, love/hate relationship. I wanted to punch her for being so damn cocky but I also wanted to kiss her for being so comforting. It felt nice to be in the company of someone who knows what to do, always. And who was not afraid to tell you what to do also.

“Let us leave this place. It reeks.” – I hadn’t noticed. Was it the incense? No.
“Viktoria, send a message to Karl that he will attend to matters until your return.” Regina said. I wondered what would happen to this ‘Karl’ if he fucked up, but then again, I don’t think Regina would have let anyone decide anything too important without her consent. Or she really trusted someone, ‘Karl’, with her life, which was unlikely. I was also a bit jealous.

And as Viktoria prepared to leave, Regina also added: “The manor.”

Viktoria nodded and in a split of a second with a ‘whoosh’ kind of sound, she was near the door which seemed to have opened by itself, especially for her. She took a quick glance back at the two of us and then she was gone.

Regina still owed me some explanations. In my mind at least, because in hers, she clearly was convinced she already told me and allowed me to see too much. In any case, she still took my hand which made me turn my gaze from the door to her, she was with her head bowed down and I couldn’t see her face, but as soon as she felt my eyes on her, she straightened her body, lifted her head and with kitten eyes but a very mischievous smile she asked me:

“More than ever.” – I had no clue what was I supposed to be ready for.

respect the elders [story part 9]

January 23, 2012 § 1 Comment

December 28th, just after nightfall.

You are not a child, you are not a man and you are not a woman. You are not human. You are a blight of nature and you should die. Make no mistake, that is the only impression you will ever make upon a human being. They will not accept you for who you are now. They will not offer you shelter and comfort. They will hunt you down, they will be relentless and they will succeed.

For what you are indeed, the world has never seen, either fact or choice it doesn’t change for what it is. It is unsuspecting and fearful. Leeches and mosquitoes, you are no more than that. You are now free to make your own destiny and claim your life as it should be for you are alive now more than any human being will ever be. You will feed on them such as a leech does on its prey, but make haste and make yourself unseen because you will be feared and hunted where leeches will be not.

You walk slowly under the sun and run with all your might under the moon. Nothing will end your life against your will and nothing will ever make you obey in front of the unworthy. Your masters are now no more – for you are your sole master and your own executioner.

Walk with your head high for you are now both king and queen among humans, make your choice now and never look back. Feed on their life. Walk as an angel, hunt as a demon. Master that art and you shall never be in any danger from humans and others alike.

Cherish and respect your elders, for they have the absolute power over your life – and you – as an elder yourself will never subdue your kinship to bid your will against their own. You will respect your elders and do their pleasing out of respect and not fear. Do this and live freely, disobey and disrespect them and die young at the hands of your own fate.

Go now and take all that you wish but remember: your greatest weapons are not your bite and strength, your greatest weapon is your mind. Use it wisely and follow one rule: never make yourself known outside your kinship. For they are many and we are few. For they are weak in strength but not thought. Fear them as they fear you.

The above excerpt is word by word written from my diary, as is a big part of this blog anyway. The writing above is everything that I could remember and translate as accurately as possible. It was spoken in Latin and it is what I consider the most important part of the events below:

As soon as I was yanked from my feet and before I could feel any regret that something spoiled that perfect evening with Regina – I had traveled well over 1km, on top of the hill, in front of the old church. The whole trip was rather intense for me and it couldn’t have taken more than a minute.

Regina and I were standing in front of the old church now, she wasn’t even breathing hard. I wondered if she needed to breathe anyway. Not that she was “undead” – no way, she was more alive than I was really, but the whole “I cannot die” thing made me wonder. I was once again scared and amazed by her. What else was she capable of? What else didn’t I know or I knew wrong about vampires? Why didn’t she turn into a bat like Dracula did – now that would have been a sight to remember.

“Stay here.” Regina said with a tone that only my mother once had. She should have known better I’m the kind that comes when you say stay and stays when you say come.

Then she was gone, a gush of wind around me let me know about that because my eyes were failing me. Wasn’t it enough that she moved as fast as that but it had to be so dark outside and damn near impossible to see where you set your foot?

This is the church in question. Twenty steps behind me was the house where the guardian of the cemetery gates lived and 150 steps in front of me, beyond the church, was the high school. Right now, like always at this hour, the top of the hill was deserted. Not even birds seem to be around here during the night.

Nevertheless, as soon as Regina slammed through the doors I heard voices from inside. How the hell did she know someone will be here now, at this hour. Inside the church!

I went in a run after her without even thinking at what I might get myself into.

As soon as I went inside, I slowed down and hid behind a pillar before someone noticing me. Too late, they had noticed me and in an instant someone grabbed me and threw me over 10 meters where I landed in front of the big ass altar. Regina was looking down at me.

Next to me, was a girl, a woman maybe in her late 20’s. She seemed she had been crying, but now she didn’t seem so scared anymore. She seemed dazed.
I wanted to ask her what’s going on, who is she and all that – I really did – but standing in front of Regina were three people who were by now hissing at me and eyeballing me like I was a big McFlurry.

In that second Regina propped her hand on one of them, on his neck, twisted it and with a loud crack he was on his knees with eyes wide open looking at her. Not dead, just… dazed.

“Nobody touches.” – Regina said. I felt good hearing that and she knew it.

Then one of them standing right next to me grabbed me by my hair, pulled me up and sank his teeth in my neck. In under a second. The pain I felt was horrible. I can’t explain how much pain that is, it’s like he intended for the bite to be as painful as possible. I felt it in my whole body not just the neck, all the way down to my toes. It was excruciating. Burning your hand doesn’t even begin to explain it – and we all know what reaction we have when we touch something hot.

I didn’t feel the pain for long – maybe a fraction – it was just the bite really – because quicker than he bit me – and that only by the fact that we was right next to me before doing it – it was over.

He fell down next to me. His body did. His head stayed around for what seemed half a second longer and then fell on the other side. Like a basketball. I was frozen in place. To give you and idea what this meant for me: I had never been to a funeral or seen a dead man in my life before, and now “I lost my virginity” to that by seeing this. I felt like puking and shitting myself in the same time. This was no romance novel – I was truly scared for my life.

I looked at Regina and she was wielding a big, long, golden knife – looked like a sword but wasn’t really long enough to be called a sword. It was about the size of your arm from the top of your index finger to your elbow. That’s the best description I can give you. It was golden – not silver. It had no elaborate handle except another golden bar, the size of one’s fist, that went perpendicularly over the handle. It was even bloodier than the actual body for what I can recall.

Silence. My face: priceless. The girl was still not screaming or yelling or doing anything really. She was just staying there looking at the whole scene unfold.

“I said – NOBODY TOUCHES.” Regina said again.
The only one of them that said nothing and did nothing was a middle-aged man, in his thirties maybe, very muscular, blond hair and tall as a statue. His gaze was one of total obedience.

“My queen – I’m sorry for this. Please spare me, nobody meant you no harm. These critters did not have the pleasure to meet you yet.” – The blond guy said.

As he said that, the one that was previously almost strangled by Regina started backing up, still on the floor, he was pushing the floor with his feet to get as far as possible. His eyes read pure fear. I wondered if that’s the look I had when I first saw Regina’s fangs shining elegantly in my face.

Regina turned to him and before I even saw it – because I never really did, except a blur – I heard a “familiar” sound and his head also started rolling on the floor. I puked this time. Violently.

“My queen – please.” The blond said.

“Silence. Enough know already who I am. I don’t need other critters on my tail. You are responsible for his death.” – She was referring at her most recent “hunt”.

“You – ” She was talking with the blonde girl now “Did you make your choice yet?”

The blond guy interrupted – “She did, but not officially, I haven’t had the chance to speak.”

“Do it fast.” Regina said.

I remember that as Regina said that, she helped me up and I wasn’t really sure I wanted to take her hand at that moment. She was venomous. Her eyes deep black and piercing through my whole body, her fangs fully extended and her eyebrows arched like that of  an eagle who had just spotted his prey. She was menacing and her movements were that of a black panther – elegant, provocative yet deceitful – a panther turns from elegant to deadly in an instant. Just like Regina.

“Who are you?” – I said. I didn’t really know what I expected for an answer. I already knew who she was, but now I wasn’t sure anymore so I guess I needed reassurance.

“You know who I am, but you’ll need centuries to know all that I am, because I needed centuries to build who I am.” Regina said, and with that put me into more confusion, like there wasn’t enough already.

Meanwhile, the blond guy had finished picking up the blonde girl from the floor and was talking with her. Then he started in Latin and said the text as it is at the beginning of this post.

The girl didn’t seem to be able to stay on her feet but as soon as he finished he repeated the whole text in French and with that the girl said: “Oui, j’accepte le sang” the blond guy picked her up and she bit – hard – on his neck, right after he managed to cut himself – severely I would say – with a nail. And she drank apparently. She drank a lot.

Make no mistake, she was human – but she kept on drinking for what went on for more than two minutes, after that they both passed out. Unconscious.

It was now midnight and me and Regina were in total silence, in an almost impossible to see inside of a church and we were alone – well except the bodies and the unconscious people.

“I am not afraid of you.” I said, not in a menacing tone, but in a calming, reminding myself kind of tone.
“No, you’re not. I know that.” Regina said.

“Of course you do, I told you. And it’s true. However…” and I looked around.

“Yes… They consider me their queen. I am the strongest of our kind, and the oldest.” She said and set her knife back in her jacket. I didn’t know she carried one. Of course I didn’t.

“The oldest???” I exclaimed – desperate, confused and amazed. I was not only in the company of a girl, but this girl was centuries old, a vampire and she called me her mate. I was either the luckiest man – to be alive, and others – or the most scared man alive. I had to pick. In that moment, I picked the first one because it seemed to be better for my short-term well-being.

“Yes, they have never seen someone older than me. I have, yet only once. When I was made. And only one, my maker. I haven’t seen him since.” She said that and bowed her head down in sorrow. Was there love from her for the one that made her into this? I really thought so at the moment. But why? How could someone love that, I wondered. Now I know. I felt jealousy – of course – but I also felt gratitude, because without him I wouldn’t be with her, I wouldn’t had known of her beauty and the feeling I have when I’m with her. I wouldn’t have had the pleasures which seemed out of this world with her. I wouldn’t even had known she was ever born. I would be searching for a soul-mate and I would be caught in the same boring life I had until she found me.

“I imagine there are others, older, but not many I reckon. Maybe a few. Other than that, they are either dead, sleeping, or lived in the shadows for the past few hundred years. I think the latter is the most probable and news does not travel fast in our world anyway.”

“So that makes you… the president of vampire nation?” – I don’t know where I came up with that but I felt numb and silly. Just like someone who just had an accident and was feeling for the first time that he might just live, and now felt really giddy and in the mood for jokes. I remember that particular phrase and her smile and then her laugh. She laughed really hard for maybe what was the first time I heard her. It was full of what I would call the thirst of life. That laughter you hear from some really beautiful girls who seem to just suck life (pun intended) up and enjoy it to the fullest. Those kinds of girls who just smile and laugh at everything and for you, at a distance, it seems that nothing bothers them, nothing can touch them and everything is perfect in their life. That kind of laugh.

“Yes.” She said.
“I’m doomed.” I said

“Yes my love, yes you are.” Regina said, and with that, still smiling, she took my hand, we looked at each other and walked out of the church down the long corridor, just like a bride and a groom about to get married. Except the fact that we were going in the wrong direction from the altar.

“What about the…?” and I looked back.

“He knows what to do, there’s a crypt beneath this church and I imagine nobody will open it very soon after that.” – She giggled, referring to my recent meeting with another crypt – “Besides, it won’t be long before they will rise.”

“What just happened there anyway?” I asked.
She looked at me and we stopped walking, just at the side of the church. She examined me from head to toe and I have no idea what she was thinking. Maybe if I was worthy of knowing, maybe if she should actually tell me. Maybe she was just hungry.

“Anyone who is turned into a vampire is offered a choice whether to turn or not. It is written in the Codex and it must be obeyed. As you have just seen, she accepted. I imagine she was his mate or someone of importance. We don’t turn too many people regardless of what you might think. It’s severely weakening for both, and as you have seen, it renders us vulnerable for a considerable amount of time.”

“What do you need to do to become a vampire? Do you need to die? Are they dead?” I asked.
She didn’t answer. All she said was “…hmmm… another time.” Think of it she never really did tell me how, I found out but not from her.

“What’s the Codex then?” I asked.

“The Codex Strigis.” She said. Seeing as I’m not entirely pleased, not that she cared. She was still in her “I’m a vampire, don’t mess with me, see my fangs” stance and not yet into the “I love you and I’m as gentle as a kitty, here, feel my puffy fur” stance.

“It’s our most sacred text – not as in religious – as in respected. It is a book, written in Latin, which contains the most important rules and guides by which to go both as a young vampire and as an elder. You usually have the chance to read it all when you’re young [a young vampire she meant], you will have your chance.” – I didn’t want to know what ‘my chance’ meant, but I hoped it wasn’t what I thought it was.

“Guide as in a general information or as in a law book?” I asked, getting more curious by the second. This was big! It was like that Book of Shadows we keep hearing about in the movies, the one which each and every witch seem to have.

“Well, disrespecting them [the rules] in front of the old or the influential – like human politicians for an example you can understand – doesn’t go so well, but in front of others, they are often overlooked.”

I wanted to know whats the punishment but good enough, she provided.

“Disrespecting them in front of me means death.” She said, mischievously smiling, without even flinching or looking at me.
I gasped for a second there, maybe even shivered a bit, inside my stomach there was World War III going on, but soon enough I gathered my strength – after all why should I fear, I wasn’t a vampire so it didn’t apply – and fired away.

“Why?” I asked.
“Because I wrote it.”

After a moment of silence and a good three or four waves of goose bumps over my skin I relaxed. I began to understand who she was, but little did I know about what else the book contained, and what else she herself broke by just talking with me. I was just realizing what I just heard, and understanding with horror that even though she wrote the book, she was also the one to break her own rules.

Remember: “ follow one rule: never make yourself known outside your kinship. For they are many and we are few…”
She made herself known to me. Why? What was so important about me? And why so easy? All this seems like a fairy tale even for me, it came too easy, too relaxed, too… casual and normal.

That was a question I wasn’t really prepared to hear an answer for.

codex – Latin equivalent of the word ‘book’ or, in other words, the best translation of the English word ‘book’ you can find in the Latin language. Other candidates might be ‘dictatum’; ‘liber’ or ‘enchiridion’ but none expresses ‘book’ as well as ‘codex’ does.

strigis – the genitive singular form of strix – old Latin and Greek with a meaning of evil spirit and/or vampire. The Romanian old term for a vampire is ‘strigoi’ which is derived from the Latin term ‘strigae’ which means the same thing.

Together, these words, ‘Codex Strigis’ form in what we could interpret in English as ‘The vampire book’ or ‘The book of evil spirits’ or plain ‘Vampire book’.

The bible itself is also often referred to as being a ‘codex’ – as such we could assume that ‘Codex Strigis’ could safely be interpreted also as ‘Vampire bible’.

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